The Italian Almanac

sshhh, quiet!

Italian News - June 3

An Italian couple has been ordered to have sex only in the daytime after the man's wails of ecstasy provoked complaints from neighbors. Retirees next door, who claimed the grunts equaled decibel levels of a jackhammer, will now be able to sleep soundly after a Rome judge imposed a sex ban from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. on the married pair.

This is the third case of roof-raising sex to hit Italian courts in a year; all three judges have imposed a blackout on sonorous love making at night.

Called only Mrs. Carmen, the woman in the Rome case told Italian media, "This is absurd, you can't limit passion. I think the neighbors are just jealous. I guess we'll go back to having sex in the car and hope we don't get arrested for obscene acts in public."